"Maybe life is up and down But my life's been "what" till now"
- Limp Bizkit
Science says that the Earth's orbit around the sun remains relatively stable. Yet, somehow, as each year passes, it feels like time is moving faster. The New Year's baby is already a middle-aged man; 2025 is already halfway done.
At the same time, the beginning of the year seems like a lifetime ago.
I started this year's journey around the sun while lying in bed after an uncomfortable surgery. I did not realize at the time that the recovery would take longer than expected, and this would be a foreshadowing of a half-year when I would be broadsided by the unexpected, and my life's trajectory would shift dramatically.
The tone for the year was set early as wildfires engulfed parts of Los Angeles. I lay in bed watching the coverage, trying to stay calm as my family worried that hurricane-force winds might once again bring fire to the hills that define the view from our kitchen.
Eventually, the winds died down, as did the swelling caused by the surgeon's scalpel. Though later than anticipated, I returned to work, relishing the return to "normal." Little did I know, others were making plans that would change everything.
The unexpected announcement that my worksite would be closing, and the subsequent decision to seize this as an opportunity to follow my oldest children to Washington, caused chaos to return to my life with a vengeance. At night, I had to keep a team motivated who no longer had a future with their employer. During the day, we prepared the house for sale and began the daunting task of packing up 17 years' worth of memories.
We bought a house in Washington after only seeing it through the lens of our realtor's phone. Financing was iffy as a transfer to the Tacoma plant was being discussed, but had not yet been finalized.
Little by little, things fell into place. We carefully sorted through our belongings, choosing which items could be discarded, packing the rest into boxes. The house was sold after only six days on the market, enabling the purchase of our new home to proceed. On the final day of operation at the Simi Valley plant, my transfer offer finally arrived. With each step forward, the chaos gradually eased.
As we waited for both escrows to close, I flew up to Washington and rented an Airbnb so that I could start my new position. During the week, I stay busy with little time for reflection. As I begin the weekend without plans, I feel an unexpected sense of calm. In a few days, I will return to Los Angeles to make the final move. Though it will be tough to say goodbye to the city I've called home for 37 years, it is difficult to say goodbye to the friends and family I will leave behind. I feel confident as I embrace this new, unanticipated path.
Sitting on the porch outside my rental, I soak in the tranquility of the area as a gentle breeze moves across a cloudless sky. Evergreen trees dominate the landscape, and in the distance, Mount Rainier stands tall, its peaks covered by snow. While it is often hidden behind clouds, today its presence is unwavering.
Suddenly, Limp Bizkit's "Boiler" shuffles onto my playlist. As one of the songs that helped me survive my divorce, I am not surprised by the wave of emotion that washes over me. But then I realize, it is different. Fred Durst's raw anguish as he screams "why" at the end of the song no longer resonates as it once did. My pain has healed.
Perhaps this is the root of my calmness in a time of change. My divorce was the greatest upheaval I've faced, yet on the other side was the family I blended with Nicole. It is hard to resent that tumultuous chapter when I know that without it, I would have never met my soulmate.
As I enjoy a summer day in my new home state, I realize that the pain once triggered by "Boiler" has been replaced by hope. It is a reminder that I have endured chaos before and ended up stronger. The emotion evoked by the song is a reminder that the chaos I have endured this year is another opportunity.
Carl Petersen is a dedicated father of five adult children, including two daughters on the severe end of the Autism spectrum. A passionate advocate for special education, he ran as a Green Party candidate for the LAUSD School Board. Renowned education advocate Dr. Diane Ravitch has praised him as "a valiant fighter for public schools in Los Angeles." Recently, Carl relocated to the State of Washington, where he is embracing his role as "Poppy" to two grandsons. You can explore his insights and perspectives through his blogs at www.ChangeTheLAUSD.com.
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