They hadn't shaken hands for a good four years
And spent the limo ride complaining in tears
About the fools, the hacks, the low intellects
That squawk, get in the way and any plan hex.
I'm rowing upstream, Vlad, I'm making it rain.
I have to do everything except fly my own plane!
.
After a photo op they got down to biz,
And quickly decided Zelensky's a schiz,
A whiner, a crackpot, a drip that won't drop,
A once-useful hero who must get the chop,
Sent to his villa or tossed in the Dnieper,
Though probly theyll go with the one that's cheaper.
.
They arranged for those Russian frozens to pay
In exchange for future Uke neutrali-tay,
Hence no NATO, nukes, or fights on the border,
No more Uke Nazis disturbing pub' order,
Once out of the way, Don would focus on peace,
Like moving on Gaza for an oceanfront lease.
.
Well, that stuff got settled in the first half-hour,
Par for the course for a smart superpower.
They prepared their statements for the world press,
Just mention big progress in cleaning this mess,
Said Don, while breaking out the bottle with Vlad,
Just progress and good vibes and nobody mad.
.
For the rest of the time, they penuckle played,
And Macron and Starmer and Ursula flayed,
And knocked back shots, maybe a little too much,
And didn't trust themselves for a presser as such,
So they read their statements and shook hands and left,
Leaving the media marooned, of story bereft.
(Article changed on Aug 18, 2025 at 8:02 AM EDT)
