Poem for men: signs of depression

Here is how I imagine

A man might let the world know

That he is depressed:

You know that big sign

That he hangs in his window

That says, 'I Am Not Depressed"?

Well, he might have taken it down.

Thats how.

Or how about the other sign

That he hangs in his other window,

"Don't Knock on my door"?

If he takes that sign down

Does it mean that he feels

That people have gotten the message,

Because no one ever does

Knock on his door?

Or does it mean

That now you can knock?

How do you know if a man is depressed?

Sounds like the opening of a joke.

You don't have to answer.

Because it's not funny.

The answer is, you don't

Because he isn't there.

He is keeping to himself,

Hiding his feelings.

Hiding.

And, does anyone notice

If a man removes the signs

That spell out that he isnt depressed

Or that he doesn't want you to knock?

Of course not.

Nobody notices much of anything

Outside of their routines.

Lately I have become aware of research

Showing that men do not reach out

They seem to lack the instinct to reach out

And they lack the language to share feelings.

They make even fewer close friends

Than they used to.

When depressed, they isolate.

Has this always been the case?

Yes, apparently it has,

For the last 5 generations.

Suicide rates for men

In the 20th century have always

Been higher than women

Because women do reach out.

There was a dip in the suicide rate for men

Right after WW1

Due to a collective masculine sense of relief

Or well-being because men weren't

Annihilating each other

On a battlefield.

That lasted for a few years.

Then it went up again and stayed about the same

For 60 years.

Then it dipped a few points

In the late 1980s through the 1990s.

Was that because the work of Robert Bly and Michael Meade

(Founders of the Mens Consciousness Movement)

Was beginning to bear fruit?

Look, why am I writing this?

Because I want to encourage men

To reach out.

Don't wait for the world to get better

To feel better about your day or your job

Or yourself.

Don't wait for a war to end

To feel better about being male!

And don't wait for someone

To notice that the signs you hang up

That say, "Im fine",

Or "Don't bother me" are down.

Write a new sign that says,

"Im not fine.

Knock. Im home."