We usually change our behavior by thinking differently and expect others to do the same. We hope they'll use our good ideas to act better. Since they often don't, however, we realize we're missing something. Why are our excellent suggestions so weak?
World War II Germany offers an intriguing case study. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Protestant minister who opposed Hitler and was eventually murdered, believed that the source of Germany's downfall lay not with Hitler but with people's stupidity that encouraged the regime.
It works this way. A stupid person dismisses moral reasoning, complies with evil conditions, and consents to manipulation and indoctrination. Rejecting knowledge, they commit a moral failing. They avoid responsibility, accept prevailing dogmas, submit to power, refuse to perceive harm as harm, and are blind to truth.
Stupidity has a source, however, that directs us also toward its remedy. It begins in our instinct to survive, which we do by aligning with our group. When we enter it, our brain notices, shifts its framework from "I am doing this" to, "We are doing this," and instinctively opens to the group's values, opinions, and activities. Belonging adds to our sense of well-being, a need often stronger in us than our need for truth or even morality. Germans gradually accepted Hitler as their moral instructor, and hoped they were safe in a compliant group.
Such a perceptual shift can show up in children's peer groups. Acceptance in one of them supplies emotional safety, but family and peer values then can conflict. Upon joining a group, we're prone to adopt its rules, and bent rules can invite lawbreaking "that doesn't hurt anyone." Soon hurting others becomes thinkable, and a moral failing quietly takes hold. Research has found that doing a single dishonest thing makes it easier for us to do another-- the slippery slope." Group belonging sustains the change in us and gradually displaces values that aren't rejected consciously but only lose force.
With such a current dislocation of national values among U.S. adults, our society's survival rests not on a party platform but rather on how we affect voters' moral reasoning. How do we help them relinquish cruelty and lies? Restore them to truth, fairness, and moral restraint? The means again are known, though they imply effort. Among all the ways to affect people, the strongest influence is how others treat them in the moment.
Most basic is connecting face to face. A half million counselors and psychologists do that daily to help people change their thoughts, feelings, and behavior, but many efforts are simple. Do we present ourselves to others, listen thoughtfully, and consider what they say? Our gentleness and respect assure them they're safe, enabling us to connect positively and discuss ideas. People's natural openness to others' influence can aid constructive change instead of causing damage. Group identification can work for us instead of against us as we form groups around good feelings and positive values.
Those seeking change, in short, need to engage others and re-orient them. We establish a safe and respectful link with a person or in a group, and together explore the values of a civilized society-- truth, inclusion, respect, compromise, justice, etc. Such an effort is due months before candidates emerge and parties declare their platforms because values are our criteria for judging candidates and policies. By first addressing people's moral reasoning, we help them distinguish what deserves their effort and allegiance, and how their society can be enhanced.
To generate a national effort, we organize groups embodying those values. A sequence of development occurs:
1. Assemble a group. A person with friends and acquaintances invites them to undertake a significant effort like electing a new Congress and President.
2. Unite understanding. They talk out common values and their picture of what they want to accomplish. The Perfect Conversation model helps with this (cf. article A Communications Breakthrough).
3. Meet. They decide to meet regularly, expand their numbers, and increase their effectiveness.
4. Develop skills and commitment. They practice their communication skills, master responses to current issues, and strengthen their group purpose and solidarity.
5. Act outside the group. They reach out to others, report back to their group about their effort, form more groups, and spread nationwide.
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